Exploring Excellence Meeting Notes January 2, 2007

ADMINISTRATIVE

There will be a class on January 9th.  No classes on January 16th and 23rd.

HOMEWORK

1. Take ? hour/week to do and feel what you want to

2. Continue mid-week check-in with partner

3. Finish reading In Search by January 23rd

REVIEW FOR NEW FOLKS

The person you are suppose to be looking at is you. You need to study yourself, see yourself, what you do. Look at your internal world while looking at the external.

#1        Start with Yourself

If something is going wrong : exclusively look at yourself and what you are doing (internal considering).

#2        Work with the Group

For harmonious relations, be sensitive to others : which is difficult because it is not the way we are conditioned.

#3        Work with the Teacher

The teacher will look at you/your character. They will look at whether you can be successful, it you can persist.

4th Way work is more about who we are (being) vs. what we know (knowledge). The function of the group is to change 'being.' To be a student and member of a group is easier to say, harder to do.

THEME: The Difference between Internal and External Considering

Internal Considering

:          makes you do what others expect of you

:          is an emotional reaction

:          makes you feed your dog because it keeps pestering you

:          makes you act as if you are good, when you are not

:          you don't have power to not engage

:          you say you love someone when you don't - because you can't not
say it : the pressure is too great

:          know that it wouldn't be useful to say something negative : but
say it anyway

External Considering (see page 153 in In Search)

:          vs. emotion reaction, externally considering is more like sensitivity

:          you choose to engage

:          you fight against internal considering by external considering (get control over your senses)

:          from a Buddhist perspective this may come from understanding karma/cause and effect

:          you are sensitive to what people can hear : say what would be useful vs. get angry.

For example, Daniel was getting a mortgage. The staff person was getting aggressive. Instead of Daniel getting irritated he asked her to review her criteria. This gave her something concrete to focus on and changed her demeanor.

 :         in order to externally consider, you need to forget the conditioned self and not get your buttons pushed.

External and internal considering is the equivalent of Buddhist mindfulness : being aware of what is going on inside and out.

QUESTIONS

Q:        How long does it take to integrate the teachings?

A:        First you need to read about and understand the teachings (using the thinking center). Second, self-validate : 'this is true' by experiencing that there is more harmony when one externally considers. Third, try and do it (using the moving center) . . .then life starts to get better : it works! After a while it goes to the     emotional center, then your body will just want to do it : like playing an instrument or dancing. Sometimes you have to use the intellectual center to bring you back to externally considering.

NOTE

Negativity happens all by itself, just by recognizing it will help to diminish negative emotions.

EXERCISES

#1 We did paired talking. One partner expressed negative opinions, the other listened and noticed their emotional reaction.

Reactions included getting lost in anxiety, objectivity, wanting to solve the problem, feeling tired. Often the bottom-line is fear/anxiety. If we can free ourselves from fear, we will have more energy to externally consider : turn a negative into a positive. don't be a slave to emotions you don't want.

#2 Looking at everyone freely. This exercise breaks conditioning. In a second round we were instructed to then drop what we were feeling, e.g., pleasure or anxiety.

JOKE

A seeker makes a difficult journey to Tibet to learn the secret of life. She finds a guru who is willing to share the answer: stay away from food you like, avoid attractive people and pleasurable activities. The seeker asks, 'if I follows that prescription, will I live forever.' The guru says 'no, but it will feel like it.'

REPORT ON HOMEWORK: HOW WE LIE TO OURSELVES

Tell ourselves we are into working out when we aren't

Tell ourselves we want to have fun with everyone at Christmas when what we really want is to go away

We will find that a lot of our lives are a lie. Lying makes things more difficult.

What would people feel if they weren't lying? Our greatest joy is being free from our mechanical personality.
